2012 (the movie)

Yes, now it's time for me to write about the movie. Maybe it's late but in true thalaivar style, late ah vandalum naanga latest ah varuvom ;)

So, here is the movie that people eagerly waited for … And it's very much the Indian masala movie you wanted to see. Did you say it's not Indian- it's Hollywood? (Alas! I thought "Hollywood was made of sterner stuff"… "Et tu brute!") In any case, I don't wish to review as such. I will just mention a few things I noticed/thought while watching the movie. Whether they make the movie good or bad is a decision I leave to you.

So here goes- 24 things about '12 –

(Apart from the obvious question- what is with Americans and destruction movies??!)

1. Good graphics. Yeah, as everyone says, it had good graphics. Though sometimes that was funny too. I mean, the way you could see the land bubbling up etc (did the guys think that when the crust gets displaced it will be like the top layer of some overheated sambar and will boil up in any way they like?!) it looked more like a cartoon than a serious depiction!
   (Oops, I forgot that scene where all those cars fall into the sea- if it wasn't funny, I don't know what it was!)
   
2. That Charlie Frost guy was good!
   
3. Disaster follows them wherever they go. Reminds me of Coleridge- "As who pursued with yell and blow /Still treads the shadow of his foe" Though it also makes me wonder 4,6,9, 10, etc..
   
4. Nothing ever falls on John Cusack (a.k.a Jackson Curtis). There are huge boulders, balls of fire, snow/lava/whatever… And not a SINGLE one falls on the hero! This isn't fair and clearly breaches the universal law of Vijay movies- "Nothing ever hurts Vijay and Vijay alone!"
   
5. Humorous (apart from the unintentional stupidity… the way that guy says nothing can split us apart and immediately the ground below them cracks etc). You know, I always liked subtle humour…
   
6. That woman's boyfriend (Thomas McCarthy) can fly anything he sits on?! I mean, gimme a break, dude… Even the best pilot would fumble a little in the face of danger. (Yeah, I know that guy looks freaked and everything, but clearly, he doesn't fumble ENOUGH)
   
7. 
   
   
   The Indian guy (Jimi "Mistry"- good pun, eh? ;)) and his Hindi! (ham-re sah-man leh-na ….) I thought there were enough Indians in US for the director to get the pronunciation right! It was simply unbearable, even to a not-much-of—Hindi-person like me! :( (Considering that even some guy like Shankar does enough research before his movie, couldn't the Hollywood guys try a little more?)
   
   
   Btw, Jimi is a half-Indian by birth, who has played a lot of Indian/NRI/Indian-origin-guy roles. Funny that even he can't pronounce Hindi!!
   
   
   
8. The girl (Morgan Lily a.k.a Curtis' daughter) is cute :)
   
9. 
   
   
   Law of heroes in floods- "Whenever a hero is in a place where there is a flood (or a submerging spaceship)the waters behind shall follow him (and whoever is with him), giving him just enough way to move ahead and close right behind him"
   
   
   But don't think that is some law for heroes in movies alone… Even "Sri Krishna" on Sunday mornings had Varuna deva closing right behind Vasudeva as he walked along. Though, to give Vasudeva credit, he at least prayed to Varuna to part his waters… Cusack doesn't even do that!!
   
   
   
   
10. You thought only Vijay wants to corner the city-bus-la-board-adikara-vetti-pasanga (i.e. the young Indian male junta)? No, even John Cusack does. If Vijay can board running buses, extrapolating to Hollywood, John can board flights while they are taking off!!!
    
11. And the ethics of it all (Yeah, I know I have ONE DARNED philosopher inside me, who goes to this in every little thing I see). Jackson Curtis can leave 100s of people and run away in a flight with Yuri and his family to save their own lives; but Chief of state Anheuser can't?! I really don't see why Curtis is the hero!
    
12. The end of the world begins in America? –Good one! Symbolic! (Even better, it is an Indian who predicts it! –LOL( And an African who saves everyone!- ROFL)) **
    
13. There is more man-made destruction than natural- In any scene, more people die from crashing buildings and cars and everything else than the natural blah. (Logical, though)
    
14. Their phones work even while the world is coming to an end??!! Not a single one of their towers/switching stations/whatever else crashes?!
    
15. Their planes work? They don't have radio issues, landing issues, nothing?!
    
16. Interesting study of behavior- The way different people behave once they know that the end is nearing is good- at least one thing that the movie has really done well!
    
17. The question the Russian guy asks- "If you had as much money as I did, would you not get a ticket for yourself?" Very valid. What is so heroic about trying to save your own kids?! And what makes Curtis better than the Russian?? What's with Americans in pulling at Russians, even now??
    
18. The cup is full! – An old joke I am really tired of. Though, did you notice- even to save the religious guys of the world, it was the scientists who had to make the spaceship!!And in the monk's "wisdom" it was said- give the guy the car keys to escape!
    
19. Isn't titanic an old enough movie (it released when I was in primary!)? Or was it so good that we need a repeat performance? (I mean the last ten minutes, of course!)
    
20. I wish Curtis had died in the last minute (when his kid returns, but he doesn't; and everyone gets tensed!) After sitting through the movie (and having seen that pilot boyfriend die) it is way too obvious Curtis has to come back! Why add so much of waiting for nothing?
    
21. And guess what! Even AFTER the world comes to an "END" (I know it sounds fishy to say AFTER the END), their comps work on the spaceship! (Intel rox ;) )
    
22. And even better, while the whole spaceship was flooding with water, their books weren't soaked! Maybe, the whole spaceship wasn't. In any case, just one month AFTER the END of the world, people have time to sit and read "books"?! Instead of finding out what to do next! (I know that there is Africa left, but about that, later on)
    
23. There is wonderful bright sunlight! Ok, I know that is acceptable if it is only some crust displacement that caused the end of the world. But hey, wasn't it the END?
    
24. And the best of it all—the African continent remains unharmed. . AFTER the END? I am simply dumbfounded!
    (One min… But isn't Africa part of the earth's crust??!)
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

Summary:-

• Mega "ice" for Obama
  
• Mega mega "ice" for Africans (Africa will survive, Africans are the only people with hearts, Drakensburg is higher than Mt. Everest...ayyo… mudiyala!)
  
• "Ulti" comedy story if you are looking for logic (beware though, the joke's on you!)
  

** I have started using recursive brackets… he... he…