It has been a long time since I wrote. And I can't say I was particularly busy. Mostly, I didn't have much to say. Also, I was in a bit of stress so I "didn't feel like writing". Admittedly, I did "feel like" doing many of the mindless things I usually do- rereading novels for the 1000th time, re-watching Tamil comedy movies, watching Jon Stewart and lately, Bassem Youssef, staring at the sky, refreshing facebook and so on. Also finishing (as in, watching all the episodes of) the first American TV series I ever finished. In the meantime, I graduated, travelled a little and took up a new job. Started living alone (about which a post is coming soon).
I knew I COULD write a post if I wanted to- there are at least 15 drafts on my blog dashboard which I could complete, but somehow I didn't. And today, I read Lightning Strikes Everyday's disclaimer blog post and I remembered why I started the blog in the first place.To write as I write. To speak as I am. Without restrictions, hesitations or any other form of apprehension that usually accompanies most social discourse.
I think in a few years of working in a company and trying to be "normal" I might forget what kind of a person I am (or used to be). There is so much roundaboutness that accompanies all social interaction, especially ones where there are stakes. I don't mean just at work, but everywhere. From the way you negotiate with your landlord, to how much anger display is good to get a customer care rep to actually work, to will talking nicely to the store guy get you a discount. And in the course of all that everyday stuff to think about- it's hard to speak as I am. Sometimes it is not the stakes- it might just be that I am too tired to argue about an issue and would rather not start talking about it (Especially political/philosophical/religious debates where people are bound to get extra fervent). This sort of tiredness might be related to the stress. Or the quarter-life crisis. Either way, it stops me from starting many topics I would have a few years ago.
So when I read the post, I suddenly remembered how (and how much) I wanted to write. And why.
Also, a few days ago, I had seen this post. This blogger, who I used to read a lot before she started doling out too much parenting advice on her blog, is trying to write one post a day for a month. I first read it and thought I should try but was scared that it might be too hard and I might not be able to keep it. Not only is it hard, it is also a lot of time commitment ,especially given the amount of time I spend editing and rewording my posts. (Like they say in the semiconductor world, design time is 30%, verification/validation time is 70%). Still, I would like to try.
Hope it doesn't go the way my gymming and aerobics classes went.
Teaser for tomorrow's post: It's about the ICSE/CBSE mark tampering.
P.S: 1) I am also posting these as notes on facebook because whenever I share a post, more people comment on facebook than on the blog. Has to do with some kind of "feeling comfortable with commenting" I guess.