MFNIS

Huh, it's only 10 days! It seemed like aeons since I posted. (Wrote this on Feb 26^th).

Anyway, I watched another movie. MNIK. So much of noise about the movie. Though one should know better than to expect Shah Rukh Khan to make a convincing "different" movie. (Long ago, he made one Asoka, and we all know how conwinceing that was!)

But you see I was torn by confusion. On the one hand, I know Shah Rukh. And on the other, I know that Sena most often opposes good works (except for M F Hussain), whatever the stated reason. Anyway I somehow made myself watch the movie, at least for curiosity value.

Note that. I "made myself" watch the movie. It was an ordeal at best, catastrophe at worst. I wanted to tie my hands to my seat so I do not punch the screen. But hey, hadn't a lot of people told me the same, before I saw it, if only in kinder words? Ya. I admit I was only a prey to curiosity, and this time it nearly killed me.

But I am digressing. My point was not how bad MNIK was. I can simply say that SRK was horribly unreal and Kajol was (I-already-used-the-word-unreal, eh?) made-up, and I don't mean it in the dressed up sense. I can't tell you how tired I am of those reviews that give MNIK five and a half stars and the ones where the newspaper guys says he can't have enough of Kajol. (Can't find the review online, don't remember the date. It was on THE HINDU). Well, I had enough of her in less than two-three minutes, which was, let's admit, quick!

But what made me write this post (apart from the boredom of travelling in a day train for 5 hours) is this new obsession of Bollywood with mad guys. Ok. I know we don't use the word mad anymore. I should say mentally disabled. No, mentally challenged. No no, people with mental disorders. (Don't intend to be rude really. **) Especially weird sounding ones. I think I'll become a director by simply doing a wiki search on mental disorders, locating some xyz syndrome and then saying, "hey, guess what, I am making a movie on xyz syndrome". And if u r a star actor u'll go like, "yes, yes. I very much want to do serious movies. I am tired of all this superherodom. And then I'll take the script of two three superhero-ish movies, to add enough romance and fight, and confidence ("We shall overcome", remember?) and all the related stuff, and then add a single twist that will make the movie a duper-luper-hit (no typo ;)) -- I'll make the hero suffer from the wikipedian disaster.

Bas. Done. That's it.

I can also make a super-duper dad-son combo play progeric-son-dad and get away.

No, they don't need to act. They can remain horribly unreal. They can remain emotionless. They can crack awfully silly jokes "to show their confidence" that makes them 'oh-so-cute' to their heroines/mothers/everybody else. They can sing, dance, fall in love blah blah. The same monotonous things that all masala-movie heroes do in their movies. But of course, nobody can criticize them. That would make the critic heartless, you see. "Can't you see the hero has a disorder? You must be utterly heartless"

Well. Well. So you can expect the next big movie from me. MFNIS (My father's name is Singh. Since after your name, the next thing you say is your father's name, right? *groan*). And it is about a guy with …. Ahem .. with a new kind of disorder. That affects only one in a million. No, not S J Suryaa's disorder. Something else. 

Lemme Google and see.

Maybe he has sudden mood swings-- total mania or complete depression. Bipolar I disorder. That way, I can make him do both romance and action. And make him get ferociously angry with the villain AS WELL AS unimaginably kind with the poor. But not good enough…

Or oppositional defiant disorder (that's self explanatory, right?). He can simply fight any guy who opposes him. On anything. But that sounds like politicians..

Hmmm…. I should find something that says the hero cannot act. Or maybe… maybe he can only overact. U say that's not a disorder- ha, ha it is. It is the Histrionic Personality Disorder. (HPD ;) ) And it affects 2%-3% of the general population… Bingo :)

Ok. Producers, and popular actors. Please apply quickly. The next duper-luper hit is ready in my mind….

And ya, only one last thing. The talent of Bollywood and most of Indian cinema lies in the ability to masalafy the most artistic topics. (I mean topics with the most artistic scope.)

 

**I can't tell you how much I feel for people with mental disorders. But I think changing terminology or making films about them is similar to feeling sorry for the people Indian slums and making Slumdog Millionaire. If you get the comparison.

P.S.-- (few clarifications, in case I haven't been clear)

1. I am not against changing terminology from mad to mentally unique. I just find it a superficial change; as long as what we think about them doesn't change, there is no point in changing terminology.

2. Again, it is not that people shouldn't make movies on mental disorders. Point is taking a mental disorder as a theme does NOT make up for bad film making. I am not talking from the point of view of awareness creation etc, purely from a good-film-making perspective.