Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Swan Song


(A poem, after a long time!!! That too, a non-sonnet!!)

As I crawl out of one minute into another,
Time squeezing me into a shapeless jelly
On this endless day,
Each squeeze painting images afresh in my mind,
Of all the joys we had, of the sunny days,
I think of the lone phrase that had always dwelt in my mind
Its existence real, to me alone,
That popped yesterday in a moment of impulse,
Now reborn in this crowded world of thoughts,
Finding its joy, and slashing mine across.
I know I was wrong, I know you didn't deserve it.
And the confession was long due.
Yet sometimes the past is a ghost,
That haunts you long after you tried to bury it,
Long after you forgot.
You think 'it was just a mistake'-
And yet there can be nothing just about a mistake!
As time paints my world in black and white, draining all the color,
I can only erase myself out of existence, now
And give birth to the vacuum that has long consumed me.
And while in the vacuum labor, I hold at my tongue
the word I had always hated, knowing its innate iniquity,
But in the spasm that my vacuum was born,
In the moment of extreme pain, and shame,
Sinking in the shrouds of death, I say,
with a furious hope, and fear and qualm
"Forgive me! Give me a chance again!"

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